What is Emotion Focused Therapy, and How it Can Save Your Relationship

Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples


Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly effective approach for working with couples experiencing relational distress. EFT is based on the premise that emotions are central to our experience of self and others, and that understanding and managing these emotions is essential for creating and maintaining healthy relationships.

Couple sitting and laughing


In EFT sessions, the therapist helps couples identify and understand their emotional responses to each other, as well as the underlying patterns and dynamics that drive their interactions. Through this process, couples learn to communicate their deeper emotions and needs, fostering greater understanding, empathy, and connection.


The three key stages of EFT for couples include de-escalation of negative cycles, restructuring of interactions, and consolidation of new patterns. During the de-escalation phase, the therapist assists the couple in recognizing and expressing their primary emotions, such as fear, sadness, or longing, which are often obscured by defensive patterns. By doing so, the couple can break free from negative cycles of blame, criticism, and withdrawal.

wooden red heart and a note


The restructuring phase involves creating new ways of interacting and forming more secure emotional bonds. Couples learn to communicate their feelings and needs more openly and to respond to each other with compassion and understanding. This phase fosters the development of more secure attachment and connection.


In the consolidation phase, the therapist supports the couple in integrating their new patterns of interaction into their daily lives. The focus is on reinforcing the progress made, building on strengths, and addressing any remaining areas of concern.


Overall, Emotion Focused Therapy for couples provides a structured, yet flexible, framework for helping partners recognize and transform destructive emotional patterns into more secure, loving, and fulfilling connections. Through this process, couples can experience deeper emotional intimacy, increased trust, and a more satisfying relationship.

Looking for an Emotionally Focused Therapist for Couples?

If you're seeking an Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) to help you and your partner navigate through relationship challenges, there are several avenues you can explore to find the right professional:

couple that got engaged


1. Therapist Directories:

Websites like Psychology Today, GoodTherapy, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) offer comprehensive directories where you can search for therapists specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. You can filter your search by location, insurance coverage, and specific areas of expertise.


2. Professional Associations:

Contacting professional organizations such as the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) can provide you with a list of certified EFT therapists in your area. These therapists have undergone specialized training in EFT and adhere to the model's principles.


3. Referrals:

Seeking recommendations from friends, family members, or other healthcare professionals can lead you to qualified EFT therapists who have positively impacted the lives of people you trust.


4. Online Platforms:

With the increasing availability of teletherapy, platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Amwell offer the option to connect with licensed EFT therapists remotely. This can be particularly beneficial if you have limited access to EFT providers in your local area.

couple making a heart with their hands


5. Contact EFT Trainers:

Getting in touch with therapists who are certified EFT trainers or supervisors can be a valuable resource. They often have connections to EFT therapists across different regions and can assist you in finding a suitable match for your needs.

Begin Working with An Online Couples Therapist


When looking for an Emotionally Focused Therapist for couples, it's essential to inquire about the therapist's credentials, experience working with couples, and their approach to Emotionally Focused Therapy. Finding a therapist who resonates with both you and your partner is crucial for the effectiveness of the therapeutic process.


Remember that taking the time to find a qualified and empathetic EFT therapist can significantly contribute to the success of your couples therapy journey. If you are interested, reach out and we can explore for Emotionally Focused Therapy can help you in your relationship.

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