Couples Therapy
Do you find yourself having the same argument over and over again?
Do you find it difficult to feel heard in your relationship by your partner?
Is there past hurt within the relationship that you and your partner are struggling to get through?
Do you find it difficult to communicate and understand each other during an argument leaving you feeling exhausted and defeated?
Do you find yourself wondering if you will ever be able to feel connected the way you used to in the beginning?
It can feel disappointing and painful to be stuck in a cycle with your partner and consistently feel disconnected from the one you love. Often there can be moments of hurt, and maybe those moments never truly were resolved, leaving both of you feeling lost on what to do to reconnect.
Not feeling heard or understood in your relationship can be defeating
In the beginning stages of a relationship, there can be a lot of love and compassion for each other. There will inevitably be moments of hurt and pain as well, and many couples do not have the tools to know how to manage hurt in a relationship or repair it.
When there is unresolved hurt in a relationship, couples can get into a cycle where they feel that they are having the same argument over and over again with no resolve. One partner may become defensive when trying to discuss conflict or hurt feelings, which leads into a heated argument. A partner may also shut down completely and pull away making it difficult to even have a conversation about any feelings because they are experiencing shame. All of these behaviors can be blocking to moving through conflict and past hurt.
All you may want is to be a team with your partner and find ways to communicate and understand each other so that you can find peace within your relationship and enjoy each other's company again.
All Couples have bumps in the road
A healthy relationship does not mean that you never fight, conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Every couple is going to face challenges in their relationship and have moments of being unhappy.
These moments of difficulty including the death of a parent, children leaving home, impact of either partner's emotions or behaviors can trigger a change in the relationship. These events can result in anxiety, depression, and stress leading to difficulty in communicating and consistent arguments.
Communicating how you feel can be difficult
Most people were not taught how to communicate in a vulnerable way, so when they enter into a relationship, many people do not have the tools to effectively navigate conflict.
Many times, when people are hurt in their relationship, they may have tried to share their hurt, although they may have been met with frustration, feeling dismissed, or invalidated in their feelings. This may have caused some to stop sharing how they were feeling, leaving resentment to grow and conflict to build.
Vulnerability can feel scary if you have been hurt in the past when sharing your emotions. Even with a partner who is loving most of the time, and who you feel you can trust. Sometimes your partner may show up well, although you may experience anxiety around sharing emotions due to past experiences in other relationships as well.
Couples therapy can help navigate stress and create connection in your relationship
All couples go through challenges, and having a therapist who can assist you through these challenges in a safe and non-judgmental environment can be helpful. Our therapists utilize EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy) to help couples get to the root of their conflict, learn to communicate in a vulnerable manner and create safety and connection in their relationship.
Whether the problems you are coming with happened three weeks ago or 30 years ago, couples therapy can help you learn to change, grow, and heal within your relationship.
What to Expect in Session
In our sessions, we will address each individual’s needs, concerns, and struggles. When you work with a therapist who truly understands and balances your needs alongside your partner's needs, it becomes easier to identify and work through the root causes behind your relationship struggles.
Your therapist will meet with each partner individually to identify the history within the relationship from their perspective, making sure that there is space for each person to feel heard at the beginning of starting couple’s therapy. Your therapist will then meet with the individuals as a couple to identify the negative cycle that they are getting caught in to assist with deconstructing the root of the problem, finding ways to feel heard and understood by each partner, and moving toward a successful deep connection.
Utilizing Emotion Focused Therapy for Deep Connection
Our therapist utilizes a specific type of therapy called Emotion-Focused Therapy to identify the deep root of the problem to get the results you are looking for in your relationship.
Emotion Focused Therapy helps people understand their attachments to others to improve their relationships. This type of therapy can help couples form a more secure emotional bond, which can promote stronger relationships and improved communication.
Emotion Focused Therapy can be a powerful approach for couples dealing with infidelity, trauma, poor communication, distress, and consistent conflict.
But you may still have questions about couples therapy…
I think that we need help, but I’ve heard that couples therapy can be expensive.
Counseling is an investment in yourself and your relationship. By developing a healthy, lasting connection with your partner you can significantly reduce symptoms of stress and anxiety that can arise in times of conflict. Additionally, taking time to grow your relationship now can help you avoid potentially expensive and damaging divorce proceedings.
We are committed to making therapy affordable for everyone. If your insurance won’t cover your sessions, we do offer a superbill to provide you with out-of-network coverage to try to get reimbursement for your expenses for therapy.
What if Therapy makes things worse?
It is true that couples counseling may help you reveal issues that are lurking beneath the surface. But you are considering therapy because you need help addressing the challenges in your relationship. Deciding not to get help for problems right now very likely means the problem will become larger in a few months or years. Your relationship and each person in it is going to change because change is inevitable. Couples counseling puts you in a position where you can understand these changes and have some control over how your relationship evolves.
What if our problems are too big to get through because its been going on for so long?
There are going to be times when a problem has become big due to consistently feeling hurt and not getting the help you needed until it was really painful. This does not mean that your relationship is doomed. Addressing these concerns now will only help with identifying the source of the issue and figuring out how to navigate the issue moving forward. If this is a large issue that has been present for many years, just know it will take some time to get through it with your therapist. We provide a caring, compassionate, and confidential environment where you can feel safe working through any issue that arises.
You can grow in your relationship
If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you may have regarding couples therapy, please contact us at 480-779-7426. We try to get back to all voicemails and emails within 24 hours.
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