5 Signs That Depression is Affecting Your Relationship
As a Couple’s Therapist in Arizona, Ashton has years of experience working with couples who are struggling in their relationships and loves helping them reconnect with themselves and their partners through Couples Therapy and Therapy for Depression. In today’s blog, Ashton, from Aspen Grove Counseling discusses 5 ways depression can impact your relationship.
1.Your sex drive has decreased
a. Depression can cause low libido, and for you to not want to have sex as often in a relationship. Since sex is such an important part of a relationship and connection, this can cause confusion for your partner and feelings of rejection.
b. It is important to talk to your partner about your depression, in order for them to understand what you are going through, and be able to support you. I tell couples who are struggling with intimacy to work on taking sex off the table and start with small acts of physical intimacy like cuddling, hugging, kissing, or massaging each other to keep the spark alive. Individual Therapy for Depression is also a great option if you are struggling with depression to identify the root cause and help step out of the depressed feeling.
2. You argue or fight more with your partner
a. Many people see depression as being sad and crying all the time. While this can be a part of depression, it can also show up as being more irritable and short-tempered
b. Although irritability is common, it is okay for your partner to have some boundaries and walk away from arguments where they are feeling attacked. It is okay for your partner to try their best to understand the pain you are in, and also ask for kindness from you while they do their best to support you. It is common for the partner who is not experiencing depression to become irritable as well. Being able to talk to each other about the more vulnerable emotion of sadness or stress will go much further in creating comfort and connection and Therapy for Depression can help give you the tools to foster improved communication.
3.You start isolating yourself from family and friends
a. Depression will typically cause you to withdraw to your own space, and not really want to talk to others or spend time with them. Sometimes being around others creates so much energy that you would rather just be alone. It is important for you to push yourself to send a text, leave a note, or even an e-mail to let your partner know that you appreciate their patience and kindness during this time of depression. Your partner can work on staying close by so that you know they are near if you are ready and willing to come out from isolation. It’s okay for your partner to check in on you and see how you are doing, but not to smother you during this time as it could cause irritability.
4.You don’t want to go out or do things you used to enjoy doing
a. You may be feeling like the only thing you want to do is sit on the couch and order pizza, because this takes the least amount of energy. While this is normal, this can sometimes cause your partner to struggle as they may want to go out with you or socialize more often like you both used to. Sometimes it can feel as though the partner they once had is gone due to depression.
b. It is important to push yourself to find one thing you are willing to do for even just an hour, and then you can go back to sitting on the couch. This can do wonders for your mood and help shift your mindset to a healthier one. For the partner, they can work on suggesting small outings or activities to help support your goal of making small steps to getting out of the house again.
5.You don’t take care of yourself the way you used to
a. You may find yourself staying in the same clothes for days, maybe you have not showered in a few days as well and do not keep up with hygiene. When someone is depressed, everything feels too much, and it’s easier to skip over daily routines.
b. Your partner may not understand this and feel that you are not putting in effort and showing disinterest in the relationship.
c. Take baby steps, maybe start by brushing your teeth, or combing your hair. The next day try to do one more thing than you did the day before. This way it will not feel so overwhelming to get back into your normal routine. Your partner can maybe prepare a soothing bath for you and offer some comfy clothes that are new and clean for you to wear as a way to support your effort of making small changes.
Start Therapy for Depression today!
You live in a crazy busy world full of commitments and it can be hard to find the extra time to care for yourself on a deeply personal level. Here at Aspen Grove Counseling, I offer online therapy options for depression treatment in the states of Arizona and Colorado. This platform allows you to access depression therapy from the convenience and comfort of your own home, office, or setting of your choice. Contact me today!
