5 Myths About Online Couples Therapy

Have you been thinking about online couples therapy but feeling nervous about making the leap? There is a lot of good and bad information out there about couples therapy, including who should go and when. I am going to talk about 5 myths related to couples therapy to help you feel more comfortable in attending your first session:

1. If my partner and I see a therapist, then that means the relationship is over.

Reality: attending therapy just means that you care enough about the relationship to work on mending the current and past hurts within the relationship. It can signify that you and your partner want to ensure you are on the right path in your relationship. Many couples state that they feel more connected, create a friendship, and are able to enjoy each other and understand each other on a deeper level after attending couples therapy. Now if you continue to have fights that are unresolved, failed repair attempts, and consistent shutting down or reactive behavior in the relationship, that will lead to divorce.

2. The therapist will takes sides during couples therapy.                         

Reality: This is not true. A good couples therapist will make sure to stay neutral when working with the couple, as it is important for both individuals to feel safe, heard, and valued within the process of couples work. There may be times when the therapist may spend some extra time with one person in the relationship to help them understand, or process a certain aspect of the relationship, although the therapist should be checking in with the other partner to ensure they are still feeling included.

3. Online Couples therapy in Arizona will make the relationship worse.  

Reality: False. Therapy may bring you through the darkest moments of the relationship, looking at some of the hardest conflicts the two of you may have, and this may be hard and feel emotional. Although, you will need to go through some of these complex emotions to better the relationship and find out the root cause of the conflict. I compare it to when you get a cut on your hand. You can either ignore it and let it get worse and infected, or you can do the painful thing and clean it out, bandage it up, and eventually, it will heal, and all that will be left is a scar to remember, but the pain will be much less.

4. Couples Therapy will be about us digging up stuff from the past.              

Reality: Not really. In couples therapy, we often talk about the current conflict and what is bringing you in. In working through the current issue, sometimes the past will be brought up by you or your partner, and the therapist will look into that with you as a couple to see if there is past hurt that needs to be mended. So, in reality, yes, the past may be brought up and talked about, but it will not be the focus of therapy.

5. My partner won’t change after online therapy in Arizona. They are who they are.

Reality: Not really. Each individual has their own personality, but this does not mean that your partner cannot learn new ways of communicating, comforting, and addressing conflict in the relationship. We all have to learn at some point in our lives how to work with others and challenge our way of thinking in order to be productive, whether that be at work or at home. It’s okay to ask your partner to challenge how they address conflict with you, and if they want to stop the conflict, they will be open to learning something new to be more emotionally connected with you. You also have to remember that you need to be open to changing your style within the relationship. It cannot just be on one person to change.

Next Steps

Hopefully, this helps manage some anxiety you or your partner may feel about going to couples therapy. Couples therapy is not just for those who are on the brink of divorce; it’s actually much more beneficial to attend when you are early in a relationship to mend current hurts, so they do not turn into something bigger! Let me know if I can help you out with couples therapy, contact me today!