Tips For Managing Social Anxiety from an Online Therapist in Arizona

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety typically begins in the early to mid-teens, although it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults.

Some of the symptoms of social anxiety include:

• Fear of situations in which you may be judged negatively

• Worry about embarrassing or humiliating yourself

• Intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers

• Fear that others will notice that you look anxious

• Fear of physical symptoms that may cause you embarrassment such as blushing, sweating, trembling, or having a shaky voice

• Avoidance doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment

• Avoidance of situations where you might be the center of attention

• Anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event

• Intense fear or anxiety during social situations

• Analysis of your performance and identification of flaws in your interactions after a social situation

• The expectation of the worse possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation

How to manage your social anxiety

Just because you have social anxiety, doesn’t have to keep you from living your life, making friends, trying new things, and being the person you want to be.  You can develop new coping skills and habits to help you recognize your emotions, challenge the way you think, and overcome social anxiety.  Here are some techniques you can try to manage social anxiety:

Challenge your negative thoughts

• How realistic is my fear?

• What would I tell a friend if they were feeling the same fears that I am?

• What is the worst thing that can happen if my fear turns out to be true?  How bad is that outcome?  How likely is this worst-case scenario actually going to happen?

• What is the best-case scenario if my fear turns out not to be true?  Could any of these possibilities happen?

Challenge your perspective

Remember that people make mistakes all the time, we are human!  Most people are thinking more about themselves (just like you are), and not so worried about other people’s lives.  Like someone once told me, “The world doesn’t revolve around you.”  This is such a strange concept when you have social anxiety because it feels like everyone is paying attention to you all the time!

Remind yourself that even if you make a mistake, and the worst-case scenario happens, most people will still be there for you.

If your worry keeps on keeping on, reality check with a friend, share your worry with them, and ask for their feedback.  It is important to tell this to someone you trust, maybe someone who already knows you get anxiety, so they can help you challenge your thoughts.

Practice Mindfulness and breathing exercises

When you feel feelings of anxiety, and those negative thoughts start rolling in, notice that they are there, without judgment.  An example might be, “Oh there is my anxiety, it’s trying to tell me that this is going to be a disaster, what does my anxiety feel like in my body right now?”

Stay in the present moment, and focus on what is happening in the present, in your body, and in the space around you.  Take a deep breath and look around, what is happening in your environment and label that in your mind to get a distraction.

Grounding skills are a great tool, they focus on your five senses. Here are some more tips to help focus in on your senses:

• Identify what you feel in your environment (the chair you are sitting on, the breeze on your face, the clothes on your skin),

• Identify what you see in your environment (what colors, shapes, objects, and people do you see),

• Identify what you smell in your environment (if you don’t smell anything, spray some perfume, put some lotion on, or get some essential oils to have on hand),

• Identify what you can hear in your environment (the air conditioner, birds outside, people talking), identify what you can taste (the coffee you have in your hand, or get a piece of food or candy and pay attention to the taste).

When you notice the anxiety creeping in (which is why I say to focus on your body, typically your body knows you are anxious before you think it), take deep breaths.  One breathing exercise is the 4 square breathing.  Take a break in for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, and repeat.

Practice participating in social situations

I would start with something easy, like hanging out with one person or s small group, and try different experiences as you get more confident.

Choose situations where you know you will be supported and safe.  For example, go to a small group with a friend that you know and enjoy your time with.  You can also pick a situation that would be easier for you to leave if you needed to.

You may feel less anxious if you are trying to engage with the people around you.  Try connecting with people to help you distract from focusing on your own behavior.

Remind yourself, the more you avoid social situations, the bigger the fear will get.  Challenging yourself to take small steps to be in social situations is the way to move through it, even though it can be a little scary sometimes.

Understand you may not succeed every time you challenge yourself, and that is okay!  Again, we are all human and as long as you keep trying to challenge yourself, that’s what is important.

Begin Online Anxiety Therapy in Arizona

Try some of these tips if you are struggling with social anxiety.  If you are interested in starting individual anxiety therapy for social anxiety struggles, I would be happy to support you, so let’s connect!